1. 開頭: 貓的報恩 – 母親與17歲小春回憶兒時的對白
現代人生活中的苦難: 現在人生活中有什麼苦難
2. 三重獨身寡居項姐妹的見證:＂有聖靈與我為伴＂
3. 摩爾門經尼腓一書中尼腓所遇到的family abuse, 及尼腓的態度
1 Ne. 7: 16
1 Ne. 18: 11
1 Ne. 18: 17-18
1 Ne. 7: 17, 21
21 And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness. And it came to pass that they did so. And after they had done praying unto the Lord we did again travel on our journey towards the tent of our father.
1 Ne. 18: 3, 21
21 And it came to pass after they had loosed me, behold, I took the compass, and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord; and after I had prayed the winds did cease, and the storm did cease, and there was a great calm.
4. 舊約中的約伯
約伯記 第一章:15~21
約伯家的苦難在伯一：13～19中記載四次，這四次苦難可分為兩大類：一是天災;二是人禍：伯一：14；17記載約伯家遭遇兩次強盜劫財害命。兩次天災與兩次人禍，使約伯家瞬間家破人亡，只剩約伯和妻子存活，可見這苦難的痛苦是無法以言語形容。
“有一天，約伯的兒女正在他們長兄的家裡吃飯喝酒，
有報信的來見約伯，說：牛正耕地，驢在旁邊吃草，
示巴人忽然闖來，把牲畜擄去，並用刀殺了僕人；惟有我一人逃脫，來報信給你。
他還說話的時候，又有人來說：神從天上降下火來，將群羊和僕人都燒滅了；惟有我一人逃脫，來報信給你。~這裡指的可能是閃電造成的火災
他還說話的時候，又有人來說：迦勒底人分作三隊忽然闖來，把駱駝擄去，並用刀殺了僕人；惟有我一人逃脫，來報信給你。 ~人禍
他還說話的時候，又有人來說：你的兒女正在他們長兄的家裡吃飯喝酒，
不料，有狂風從曠野颳來，擊打房屋的四角，房屋倒塌在少年人身上，他們就都死了；惟有我一人逃脫，來報信給你。~這裡指的是風災造成的災害
面對家中的巨變，約伯以「撕裂外袍、剃頭」來表達他的傷痛，雖是連續的苦難臨到身上，約伯仍未失去他對神的信心，讓我們看見約伯雖然失去一切，卻沒有失去他對神的信心，他順服神對他一切的安排。
伯1:21 說：我赤身出於母胎，也必赤身歸回；賞賜的是耶和華，收取的也是耶和華。耶和華的名是應當稱頌的。”
5. 舊約中的路得
路得記 第一章:16~17
她是摩押的女子，卻嫁給以色列 青年，沒料到年輕即守寡。摩押人是亞伯拉罕的姪子羅得的後代(參看創世記 19 章 )。路得此行追隨婆婆回到猶大地，要冒的險可真大！可能她會被人輕視、排斥，可 能她一輩子再也嫁不出去……。但是路得立定心意要這樣做，她似乎婆婆和她所敬 拜的上帝所深深吸引。她從婆婆身上見到上帝奇妙的愛，因此，她來投靠上帝，相信 上帝必眷顧、引領。
“路得說：不要催我回去不跟隨你。你往哪裡去，我也往那裡去；你在哪裡住宿，我也在那裡住宿；你的國就是我的國，你的神就是我的神。
你在哪裡死，我也在那裡死，也葬在那裡。除非死能使你我相離！”
正如波阿斯所祝福的，「願耶和華照你所行的賞賜你。你來投靠耶和華─以色列神的翅膀下，願你滿得他的賞賜。」(得 2:12)路得真的是滿滿得到上帝的賞賜！
6. 使徒保羅
哥林多前書 第四章: 11~13
“直到如今，我們還是又飢又渴，又赤身露體，又挨打，又沒有一定的住處，
並且勞苦，親手做工。被人咒罵，我們就祝福；被人逼迫，我們就忍受；
被人毀謗，我們就善勸。直到如今，人還把我們看作世界上的污穢，萬物中的渣滓。”
哥林多後書 第十一章:23~28
“他們是基督的僕人嗎﹖我更是。我比他們多受勞苦，多下監牢，受鞭打是過重的，冒死是屢次有的。
被猶太人鞭打五次，每次四十減去一下；
被棍打了三次；被石頭打了一次，遇著船壞三次，一晝一夜在深海裡。
又屢次行遠路，遭江河的危險、盜賊的危險，同族的危險、外邦人的危險、城裡的危險、曠野的危險、海中的危險、假弟兄的危險。
受勞碌、受困苦，多次不得睡，又飢又渴，多次不得食，受寒冷，赤身露體。
除了這外面的事，還有為眾教會掛心的事，天天壓在我身上。”
羅馬書 第八章:35~39
“誰能使我們與基督的愛隔絕呢﹖難道是患難嗎﹖是困苦嗎﹖是逼迫嗎﹖是飢餓嗎﹖是赤身露體嗎﹖是危險嗎﹖是刀劍嗎﹖
如經上所記：我們為你的緣故終日被殺；人看我們如將宰的羊。
然而，靠著愛我們的主，在這一切的事上已經得勝有餘了。
因為我深信無論是死，是生，是天使，是掌權的，是有能的，是現在的事，是將來的事，
是高處的，是低處的，是別的受造之物，都不能叫我們與神的愛隔絕；這愛是在我們的主基督耶穌裡的。”
7. 自己的經驗// 畫家梵谷 // 音樂家貝多芬
淺提自己的經驗
荷蘭銀行廣告, Stary night賞析歌詞 ; 此曲為麥克唐林所作 歌詞描述梵谷畫作色彩極為精緻 不僅是音樂與繪畫之結合; 介紹不同時期梵谷作品 如「食薯者」「鳶尾花」「郵差」「自畫像.
對世人來說梵谷的畫作是不朽的禮物 但卻是經歷許多磨難 與人情冷落與瘋狂所粹鍊.
文生‧梵谷 (1853-1890), 是繼倫勃朗 (Rembrandt, 1606-1669) 後被認為是荷蘭最偉大的畫家。他和高更、塞尚並稱為後印象派。他們吸收了印象派的精髓，卻反對印象派純客觀理性的畫法，提倡事物的實質和象徵意念，是現代藝術最重要的先驅。1878年，文生到比利時Borinage礦區任傳道員的工作。礦區人民生活的困苦，大大震撼了文生；礦區的小孩八歲就要到礦洞幫手搬運, 十三歲就得挖掘煤礦， 三十歲左右就會患上肺病，一般活不過四十歲。他們辛勞了一生，也不能換取溫飽。為了和礦民打成一片，文生用煤炭塗黑自己的臉頰，在煤渣堆中撿拾煤屑，送給區內的老弱。又把自己所有的金錢、食物、衣服分派清光，也無法幫助到這麼多的貧民。他甚至為了改善礦區人民的生活，不惜親自到煤礦公司, 為工人爭取合理的工資，及較安全的工作環境，結果不但徒勞無功，且引起教會的不滿。就在這年冬天, 礦洞發生坍塌的悲劇，傷亡慘重。1879年，教會撤除了文生的職務。被撤職後的文生仍然留在礦區，開始對繪畫發生興趣，並認定此為其人生的意義，亦得到弟弟德奧經濟上的支持。
文生27歲時才開始繪畫， 係短短十年間, 繪畫了八佰多幅油畫及同等數目的素描, 卻幾乎從未能覓得買家, 只能長期依賴弟弟德奧 (Theo) 在經濟上和精神上的支持。他的一生，就正如他的印象派同道畢沙蕾所說: 『這人將來一是瘋了, 一就是成為我們當中最出色的。
1888年，文生受塞尚的影響，到法國南部的普羅旺斯省，尋找創作的靈感。他在亞耳定居，並在此繪畫了二佰多幅油畫，當中卻只能買出一幅 (註:紅葡萄園) ，得到一則畫評。在貧困的生活中 ，赤熱的陽光下，不竭的創作令文生變得神經衰弱。無法抑制自己的激動，竟割下自己的左耳。從此，他不但失去高更這個好朋友，還給所有人笑作瘋子。1889年，文生入住 St. Remy 的精神療養院。1890年5月，文生搬到 Auvers-sur-Oise, 靠近弟弟居住，並在短短兩個月內，繪畫了七十多幅油畫。狂熱而不可抑制的創作激情，有如烈火焚燒著他的內心，使他心力交瘁，精神瀕臨崩潰。1890年7月27日早上，文生‧梵谷在麥田中吞槍自殺，延至7月29日傷重不治，享年37歲。
紐約的創作歌手唐麥克林紀念畫家梵谷的作品，stary night也是梵高著名的畫作之一，而這首歌的另一個名字VINCENT，則是梵谷高的名字.
“天上滿繁星 繁花似錦燦爛如火
天上的捲雲 在他眼眸中 是一場紫色風暴
色彩 變著調兒
清晨的禾場 琥珀色的麥子
苦痛在蒼然的臉上刻上的線
被畫家溫柔的手 撫順了”
他的「鳶尾花」還有「向日葵」都是史上拍賣價格最高的作品，以近二千萬美元成交。
貝多芬是在1770年12月16日在波恩的波恩衚衕（Bonngasse）街20號出生的，。最初，貝多芬家庭情況還算如意。約翰的經濟狀況不錯，老路德維希在經濟上也能幫助一下這個家庭[5]。約翰有酗酒的習慣，脾氣暴躁，母親則體弱多病，這是日後作為長子的貝多芬必須挑起家庭重擔的重要原因之一。也正是因此，貝多芬愛母親遠勝於父親。貝多芬可能在5歲時患有中耳炎，但並沒有得到很好的治療，這可能為其日後的耳疾埋下禍根。多芬到維也納的修養地聖城（Heiligenstadt），意圖靠當地礦泉水浴，以治療自己日益嚴重的耳硬化症. 貝多芬寫下過：“我決心掃除一切障礙，我相信命運不會拋棄我，我恐怕需要充分估量自己的力量，我要扼住命運的咽喉。”的壯語，但是在聖城他的情緒則一度陷入低谷，還寫下了一封寄給自己兄弟的信，後世稱之為《聖城遺書》（一譯海利根施塔德遺書）（Heiligenstädter Testament）。信中的語氣悲觀可憐，貝多芬的耳疾導致其出現自殺的念頭，只有他的音樂，和一種模糊的對世人的使命感才讓他免於自己逼自己走上絕路。在1819年他變成全聾，這無疑剝脫了他指揮和演出權。就是日常的溝通，也顯得非常的吃力。貝多芬的d小調第九交響曲完成於1824年，全曲共分4個樂章。在這首交響曲中的最後一個樂章（第四樂章）中，貝多芬首次聯合了合唱團與管弦樂團，為歷來在交響樂上的創舉, 聯合國教科文組織將第九交響曲的原譜定為人類文化遺產。
他說：”我只希望自己能給這個世界一些美好的音樂，然後就像一個老頑童一樣，在各位體面的先生面前了結塵世上的事。”
從所結的果子判斷
D&C 78: 19
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
來12:5 你們又忘了那勸你們如同勸兒子的話，說：我兒，你不可輕看主的管教，被他責備的時候也不可灰心；
來12:6 因為主所愛的，他必管教，又鞭打凡所收納的兒子。
來12:7 你們所忍受的，是神管教你們，待你們如同待兒子。焉有兒子不被父親管教的呢﹖
來12:10 生身的父都是暫隨己意管教我們；惟有萬靈的父管教我們，是要我們得益處，使我們在他的聖潔上有分。
來12:11 凡管教的事，當時不覺得快樂，反覺得愁苦；後來卻為那經練過的人結出平安的果子，就是義。
啟3:19 凡我所疼愛的，我就責備管教他；所以你要發熱心，也要改。
8. 結論:永生是神所有恩賜中最大的，
Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
"This is a joyful religion, one of hope, strength, and deliverance.
Are we living with apprehension, fear, and worry? Or have we, amidst all of our challenges, not reason to rejoice?
We all go through different life experiences. Some are filled with joy, and others with sorrow and uncertainty.
I remember a time when things didn’t look good for our family when I was a child. It was in the winter of 1944, one of the coldest during World War II. The war front was approaching our town, and my mother had to take us four children, leave all our possessions behind, and join the millions of fleeing refugees in a desperate search for a place to survive. Our father was still in the military, but he and Mother had agreed that if they were ever separated during the war, they would try to reunite at the hometown of my grandparents. With bombing raids during the night and air attacks during the day, it took us many days to reach my grandparents. My memories of those days are of darkness and coldness. My father returned to us unharmed, but our future looked extremely bleak. We were living in the rubble of postwar Germany with a devastating feeling of hopelessness and darkness about our future.
In the middle of this despair, my family learned about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the healing message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. This message made all the difference; it lifted us above our daily misery. Life was still thorny and the circumstances still horrible, but the gospel brought light, hope, and joy into our lives. The plain and simple truths of the gospel warmed our hearts and enlightened our minds. They helped us look at ourselves and the world around us with different eyes and from an elevated viewpoint.
My dear brothers and sisters, aren’t the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and our membership in His Church great reasons to rejoice?
Wherever you live on this earth and whatever your life’s situation may be, I testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness. The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges. He said to Paul and to all of us, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” And like Paul we can answer: “My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
What Is the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
The gospel of Jesus Christ is good news, glad tidings, and much more. It is my firm belief that all truth and light originating with God is embraced in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
God, our loving Father in Heaven, has said that it is His work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). It is called the gospel of Jesus Christ because it is the Atonement of Jesus Christ that makes redemption and salvation possible. Through the Atonement all men, women, and children are unconditionally redeemed from physical death, and all will be redeemed from their own sins on the condition of accepting and obeying the gospel of Jesus Christ (see D&C 20:17–25; 76:40–42, 50–53; Moses 6:62).
Therefore, enduring to the end is not just a matter of passively tolerating life’s difficult circumstances or “hanging in there.” Ours is an active religion, helping God’s children along the strait and narrow path to develop their full potential during this life and return to Him one day. Viewed from this perspective, enduring to the end is exalting and glorious, not grim and gloomy. This is a joyful religion, one of hope, strength, and deliverance. “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25).
Enduring to the end is a process filling every minute of our life, every hour, every day, from sunrise to sunrise. It is accomplished through personal discipline following the commandments of God.
Enduring to the end implies “patient continuance in well doing” (Romans 2:7), striving to keep the commandments (see 2 Nephi 31:10), and doing the works of righteousness (see D&C 59:23). It requires sacrifice and hard work. To endure to the end, we need to trust our Father in Heaven and make wise choices, including paying our tithes and offerings, honoring our temple covenants, and serving the Lord and one another willingly and faithfully in our Church callings and responsibilities. It means strength of character, selflessness, and humility; it means integrity and honesty to the Lord and our fellowmen.
By doing our best to endure to the end, a beautiful refinement will come into our lives. We will learn to “do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us]” (Matthew 5:44).
Jesus Christ Wants You to Succeed
My dear brothers and sisters, there will be days and nights when you feel overwhelmed, when your hearts are heavy and your heads hang down. Then, please remember, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer, is the Head of this Church. It is His gospel. He wants you to succeed. He gave His life for just this purpose. He is the Son of the living God. "
“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee” (3 Nephi 22:10). “I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (3 Nephi 22:8).
My dear friends, the Savior heals the broken heart and binds up your wounds (see Psalm 147:3).
Of Missions, Temples, and Stewardship
Gordon B. Hinckley
“The work demands courage, it demands effort, it demands dedication, it demands the humility to get on one’s knees and ask the Lord for help and direction. You will come to know that without His help you are indeed weak and simple, but that with His help you can accomplish miracles.”
Gospel Library > Magazines > Ensign > November 1995
Claim the Exceeding Great and Precious Promises
Elder Spencer J. Condie
Of the Seventy
"The Lord makes generous promises, and He certifies that He will not vary from these promises.
The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Faith in Christ includes the knowledge that following His Crucifixion, He arose from the tomb, and His Resurrection made it possible for all mankind to live again (see 1 Corinthians 15:21–23). Faith in Christ is the assurance that He and His Heavenly Father appeared to a young man, Joseph Smith, paving the way for the Restoration of all things in the dispensation of the fulness of times. Jesus Christ is the head of the Church, which bears His holy name.
The Lord makes generous promises, and He certifies that He will not vary from these promises, for, said He, “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise” (D&C 82:10)
The Lord also promised that “whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you” (3 Nephi 18:20). We are promised that the Holy Ghost will be our constant companion when we “let virtue garnish [our] thoughts unceasingly” (see D&C 121:45–46). We can claim the spiritually liberating promise of fasting, which will “loose the bands of wickedness,” undo our “heavy burdens,” and “break every yoke” (Isaiah 58:6).
Those who are sealed in holy temples and who faithfully keep their covenants will receive God’s glory, which “shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever” (D&C 132:19).
Sometimes, in our earthly impatience, we may lose sight of the Lord’s precious promises and disconnect our obedience from the fulfillment of these promises."
林前15:19 我們若靠基督，只在今生有指望，就算比眾人更可憐。
提後4:7 那美好的仗我已經打過了，當跑的路我已經跑盡了，所信的道我已經守住了。
彼後3:14 親愛的弟兄啊，你們既盼望這些事，就當殷勤，使自己沒有玷污，無可指摘，安然見主
2007年10月31日 星期三
2007年10月22日 星期一
中菲聯姻 - 異國通婚
好友Jolin Chou愛上一個菲律賓人Arnold Valila. 這個Jolin不是歌手蔡依林, 而是我中學時代的同班同學.從大學畢業起我和她每年都有短暫的碰面, 而這位Arnold是她唯一曾經對我認真提起過的男人,這個Arnold是在Jolin的父親所開的紡織廠工作的菲籍外勞, Jolin 大學畢業後就在自家的紡織廠工作, 因為是小型的工廠, 所以是老闆兼夥計,忙起來Jolin也常常得到生產線工作,甚至輪夜班, 因此和Arnold有許多密切接觸的機會, Arnold就住在她家工廠附設的外勞宿舍中. 五、六年前的一個中秋節我和女兒應邀到Jolin家的和她家人及外勞一起烤肉, Arnold也在, 只記得那是個皮膚黝黑的大眼男人, 當時我就覺得Jolin對他有種特殊的情愫。當時問她, 她只說有一點喜歡.這樣過了幾年.
今年一月Jolin告訴我她年中要到菲律賓去和Arnold結婚, 我說父母那方面怎麼說呢? 因為Jolin的父母家境富有, 家中只有三個女兒. Jolin 告訴我父母很反對, 但就由著她去了.Jolin也很不安,還去算命. Jolin去菲律賓和Arnold結完婚回台灣, 就幫她先生辦Visa, 今年九月Arnold又回來台灣, Jolin幫她兩租了一間小套房, 於是今年中秋節我就提著月餅和教會雜誌去拜訪這對新婚夫妻.
顯然Jolin 非常愛Arnold. Arnold是天主教徒, 在菲律賓有一個唸中學的女兒, 和前女友生的, Jolin的父母不肯再讓Arnold到紡織廠工作或住在工廠宿舍, 也不願幫助Arnold申請工作簽證, Arnold再菲律賓有三間米店, 一台計程車, 一間在馬尼拉附近的房子, 希望Jolin和他回菲律賓定居, Arnold覺得他有足夠的收入讓兩人在菲律賓生活, Jolin覺得不夠. Jolin要Arnold和她待在台灣, 她則繼續在父母的紡織廠工作,這樣方便存錢, 於是持觀光護照來台的Arnold過一陣子又要飛回菲律賓, 付高額仲介費申請來台工作.因為Jolin想在她熟悉的台灣生活, 還希望可以明年懷孕生子.
Jolin和Arnold固然相愛, 但婚姻在最初就蒙上一些不確定的陰影, 讓身為朋友的我有些憂慮, 為這對夫妻禱告, 求主祝福他們.
今年一月Jolin告訴我她年中要到菲律賓去和Arnold結婚, 我說父母那方面怎麼說呢? 因為Jolin的父母家境富有, 家中只有三個女兒. Jolin 告訴我父母很反對, 但就由著她去了.Jolin也很不安,還去算命. Jolin去菲律賓和Arnold結完婚回台灣, 就幫她先生辦Visa, 今年九月Arnold又回來台灣, Jolin幫她兩租了一間小套房, 於是今年中秋節我就提著月餅和教會雜誌去拜訪這對新婚夫妻.
顯然Jolin 非常愛Arnold. Arnold是天主教徒, 在菲律賓有一個唸中學的女兒, 和前女友生的, Jolin的父母不肯再讓Arnold到紡織廠工作或住在工廠宿舍, 也不願幫助Arnold申請工作簽證, Arnold再菲律賓有三間米店, 一台計程車, 一間在馬尼拉附近的房子, 希望Jolin和他回菲律賓定居, Arnold覺得他有足夠的收入讓兩人在菲律賓生活, Jolin覺得不夠. Jolin要Arnold和她待在台灣, 她則繼續在父母的紡織廠工作,這樣方便存錢, 於是持觀光護照來台的Arnold過一陣子又要飛回菲律賓, 付高額仲介費申請來台工作.因為Jolin想在她熟悉的台灣生活, 還希望可以明年懷孕生子.
Jolin和Arnold固然相愛, 但婚姻在最初就蒙上一些不確定的陰影, 讓身為朋友的我有些憂慮, 為這對夫妻禱告, 求主祝福他們.
2007年10月18日 星期四
雜筆 - 有關情緒和人的相處
其實我覺得不幸或是失敗的事情
尤其是發生在自己身上的要儘可能低調 這也是張小燕說的
儘可能低調的忍耐
特別是負面或是悲傷的情緒 是需要發揮一些紀律的
低調的 即使那表示某些半夜時刻會默默的一個人掉眼淚 可是神知道一切
讓不好的情緒有範圍 然後天亮了太陽出來 就會發現其實自己還是蠻快樂的
我有一天中午和同事看DVD有位牧師談到擇偶
他說很多人談到擇偶會先提到的是個性例如內向或外向 風趣幽默或嚴肅仔細 浪漫纖細或豪爽大方 喜歡運動或音樂
康牧師說小偷和強暴犯和殺人犯也可能風趣幽默 外遇偷情的男人或女人也可能浪漫纖細
他說擇偶選的重點不在個性(personality) - 外向內向 幽默或嚴肅;
重點在於品格(character), 例如正直, 誠實, 自律, 溫和, 仁慈
有一天我問正華再尋找交往對象時要注意什麼?
正華也勸告我要找一個有良好品格的人!
兩個品格好的人相處的差異 都不會有太大的問題 反而可能是一種樂趣的來源
尤其是發生在自己身上的要儘可能低調 這也是張小燕說的
儘可能低調的忍耐
特別是負面或是悲傷的情緒 是需要發揮一些紀律的
低調的 即使那表示某些半夜時刻會默默的一個人掉眼淚 可是神知道一切
讓不好的情緒有範圍 然後天亮了太陽出來 就會發現其實自己還是蠻快樂的
我有一天中午和同事看DVD有位牧師談到擇偶
他說很多人談到擇偶會先提到的是個性例如內向或外向 風趣幽默或嚴肅仔細 浪漫纖細或豪爽大方 喜歡運動或音樂
康牧師說小偷和強暴犯和殺人犯也可能風趣幽默 外遇偷情的男人或女人也可能浪漫纖細
他說擇偶選的重點不在個性(personality) - 外向內向 幽默或嚴肅;
重點在於品格(character), 例如正直, 誠實, 自律, 溫和, 仁慈
有一天我問正華再尋找交往對象時要注意什麼?
正華也勸告我要找一個有良好品格的人!
兩個品格好的人相處的差異 都不會有太大的問題 反而可能是一種樂趣的來源
2007年10月16日 星期二
妳沒有老公所不可以當家庭主婦!?
有一天週末過得非常的悠閒,有很多的時間陪伴女兒.
家務事都做得差不多了, 還煮了非常好吃的午餐和晚餐.
餐後和Amanda 及我家女兒Joanna在書房閒坐,聊天兼看閒書,
自己覺得非常滿意,於是自言自語的說:
＂其實我只有星期一到星期五是職業婦女,星期六和星期日是家庭主婦!"
哪知我家Joanna突然潑了一盆冷水:
"妳不是家庭主婦,因為你沒有老公!"
我回應:
"難道一定要有老公才能當家庭主婦?"
Joanna很堅決的回答:
"對!"
所以在Jonna的眼中媽媽是職業婦女...
是單親媽媽+職業婦女; 而不是職業婦女+週末家庭主婦..
家務事都做得差不多了, 還煮了非常好吃的午餐和晚餐.
餐後和Amanda 及我家女兒Joanna在書房閒坐,聊天兼看閒書,
自己覺得非常滿意,於是自言自語的說:
＂其實我只有星期一到星期五是職業婦女,星期六和星期日是家庭主婦!"
哪知我家Joanna突然潑了一盆冷水:
"妳不是家庭主婦,因為你沒有老公!"
我回應:
"難道一定要有老公才能當家庭主婦?"
Joanna很堅決的回答:
"對!"
所以在Jonna的眼中媽媽是職業婦女...
是單親媽媽+職業婦女; 而不是職業婦女+週末家庭主婦..
2007年10月8日 星期一
好人和好婚姻
對於朋友寄來的網路文章"好人和好婚姻"的想法
好人和好婚姻
當然要先當好人 然後去找好人
兩個不好的人 ...不義之人是很難會有好婚姻的
兩個好人:
男的忠實養家 是體貼盡責的丈夫和父親 沒有外遇 家暴 酗酒 不忠和欺騙
女的溫婉賢淑 是稱職的妻子和母親 沒有濫賭 敗家 紅杏出牆 彼此相愛敬重
這樣的婚姻雖不中...亦不遠矣！
兩個好人的婚姻品質不佳, 只有技術面的問題, 只要在操作上改善溝通 調整即可, 比較好改善.
沒有基本面和道德面的結構性問題.
像習慣不忠 外遇 濫賭 酗酒 這種結構性的品格問題,
這樣的問題就像海砂屋或幅射鋼筋屋,不是微調溝通, 稍微調整就可以解決,
往往非把房子拆了重蓋否則難以改善.
所以我們每個人都應該先讓自己成為好人,
一個好人找到另一個好人, 就可以成就不錯的婚姻.
萬一沒找到好人, 頂多叫做遇人不淑, 到頭來還是一個好人
好人和好婚姻
當然要先當好人 然後去找好人
兩個不好的人 ...不義之人是很難會有好婚姻的
兩個好人:
男的忠實養家 是體貼盡責的丈夫和父親 沒有外遇 家暴 酗酒 不忠和欺騙
女的溫婉賢淑 是稱職的妻子和母親 沒有濫賭 敗家 紅杏出牆 彼此相愛敬重
這樣的婚姻雖不中...亦不遠矣！
兩個好人的婚姻品質不佳, 只有技術面的問題, 只要在操作上改善溝通 調整即可, 比較好改善.
沒有基本面和道德面的結構性問題.
像習慣不忠 外遇 濫賭 酗酒 這種結構性的品格問題,
這樣的問題就像海砂屋或幅射鋼筋屋,不是微調溝通, 稍微調整就可以解決,
往往非把房子拆了重蓋否則難以改善.
所以我們每個人都應該先讓自己成為好人,
一個好人找到另一個好人, 就可以成就不錯的婚姻.
萬一沒找到好人, 頂多叫做遇人不淑, 到頭來還是一個好人
2007年10月7日 星期日
完美主義者勿試
我最近讀了一本書
書名: 給母親的十個叮嚀
作者: 雪莉 史考特博士(譯名)
譯者: 朱衣
出版社: 時報出版社
引述書中的一段話:
"徵人啟事
有耐心，願意犧牲奉獻自己的身體(如果是領養,則不需要身體)來創造、孕育、滋養、指引、照顧一個新生命。
一定要能勝任極端多重的工作, 職責包括關愛、支持、發展自信心、指導、諮商輔導、教師等。需要有做家務事的經驗，不限領域，包括:清潔、烹飪、洗衣、燙衣服、縫紉、褓姆、司機等(或可以安排其他人擔任類似工作)。工作前景: 與人分享喜悅與失望，慶祝所有的第一次，儀式的傳承，在合宜的時機傳授智慧，在洽當的時刻做訓練。應徵者必須溫柔、堅強、聰明、有趣，熱愛教導與學習，能安慰人，有同情心，值得尊重，不畏艱難，最重要的是要很有彈性。完美主義者勿試。"
作者評註:
"這個工作是不是聽起來滿好玩的? 妳想應徵嗎?
如果是的話，恭喜妳! 身為母親，妳已經被錄用了!"
看到完美主義者勿試, 不禁會心一笑,
Joanna 就曾抱怨媽媽那種追求完美的樣子，會讓人喘不過氣來，很有壓迫感。
媽媽想的則是 為什麼我們總是離完美這麼的遙遠...
哈哈 生活儘管是滿足而快樂 充滿了可以期待和不能預料的事情
卻從來就不是完美的呀!
雖然我一直盼望著學習著成為一個更好一點的母親
我的進步和女兒的進步也是一點一點的...
書名: 給母親的十個叮嚀
作者: 雪莉 史考特博士(譯名)
譯者: 朱衣
出版社: 時報出版社
引述書中的一段話:
"徵人啟事
有耐心，願意犧牲奉獻自己的身體(如果是領養,則不需要身體)來創造、孕育、滋養、指引、照顧一個新生命。
一定要能勝任極端多重的工作, 職責包括關愛、支持、發展自信心、指導、諮商輔導、教師等。需要有做家務事的經驗，不限領域，包括:清潔、烹飪、洗衣、燙衣服、縫紉、褓姆、司機等(或可以安排其他人擔任類似工作)。工作前景: 與人分享喜悅與失望，慶祝所有的第一次，儀式的傳承，在合宜的時機傳授智慧，在洽當的時刻做訓練。應徵者必須溫柔、堅強、聰明、有趣，熱愛教導與學習，能安慰人，有同情心，值得尊重，不畏艱難，最重要的是要很有彈性。完美主義者勿試。"
作者評註:
"這個工作是不是聽起來滿好玩的? 妳想應徵嗎?
如果是的話，恭喜妳! 身為母親，妳已經被錄用了!"
看到完美主義者勿試, 不禁會心一笑,
Joanna 就曾抱怨媽媽那種追求完美的樣子，會讓人喘不過氣來，很有壓迫感。
媽媽想的則是 為什麼我們總是離完美這麼的遙遠...
哈哈 生活儘管是滿足而快樂 充滿了可以期待和不能預料的事情
卻從來就不是完美的呀!
雖然我一直盼望著學習著成為一個更好一點的母親
我的進步和女兒的進步也是一點一點的...
2007年10月3日 星期三
父母的家教是有期限性的
前陣子我很想去申請商研所 因為週遭的同事朋友, 很多人不是已經有碩士學位,就是正在進修碩士學位
讓我覺得惟恐自己職場競爭力不足, 加上有朋友說我應該在工作上更有企圖心一些
再來又想到興格來戈登會長也說教育可以打開機會之門, 又考量假如有個MBA, 提升專業知識, 工作更上一層樓, 多賺點錢, 也可以提供女兒更多資源.
於是調查了想申請的學校, 申請日期, 條件, 課程規劃, 師資, 學分, 學費...
連找誰寫推薦信, 如何說服老闆讓我保有這工作去進修, 如何安排時間和金錢都規劃好了, 也告訴女兒這個計畫
然後為了慎重起見, 我做了一個禁食禱告, 把這件事與主商量. 而得到的靈感卻是: 商研所現在不適合我! 很微小很清楚的聲音.
"Family is about time."
然後我得到一個完全不同的視野來看這件事,11歲的女兒現在是人格定型關鍵期, 需要花很多的時間陪她, 滋養她屬靈. 屬世的需求, 發展她的才能.
這些是每天回家陪她吃飯, 寫作業, 聊天說話, 讀經文.禱告, 了解她的困難挑戰, 參與她的活動, 一點一點的累積. 沒有辦法假手他人,也沒辦法速成.
母兼父職, 現在的工作既符合自己專長, 也不致過度忙碌. 收入供母女二人基本生活已是充足有餘.
於是我推翻自己最初的商研所計畫, 聆聽那微小的聲音.
重新調整所有的社交活動, 減少不必要的電話及活動, 把資源用在最要緊的事情上, 教育自己的女兒.
然後很奇妙的是: 心裡覺得很平安也很快樂.
雖然並不是事事完美, 盡如我所想所求.
可是我知道神的計畫高於人的計畫, 只要讓我們的心思意念與主的旨意相調和, 長期來說就會是對的.
讓我覺得惟恐自己職場競爭力不足, 加上有朋友說我應該在工作上更有企圖心一些
再來又想到興格來戈登會長也說教育可以打開機會之門, 又考量假如有個MBA, 提升專業知識, 工作更上一層樓, 多賺點錢, 也可以提供女兒更多資源.
於是調查了想申請的學校, 申請日期, 條件, 課程規劃, 師資, 學分, 學費...
連找誰寫推薦信, 如何說服老闆讓我保有這工作去進修, 如何安排時間和金錢都規劃好了, 也告訴女兒這個計畫
然後為了慎重起見, 我做了一個禁食禱告, 把這件事與主商量. 而得到的靈感卻是: 商研所現在不適合我! 很微小很清楚的聲音.
"Family is about time."
然後我得到一個完全不同的視野來看這件事,11歲的女兒現在是人格定型關鍵期, 需要花很多的時間陪她, 滋養她屬靈. 屬世的需求, 發展她的才能.
這些是每天回家陪她吃飯, 寫作業, 聊天說話, 讀經文.禱告, 了解她的困難挑戰, 參與她的活動, 一點一點的累積. 沒有辦法假手他人,也沒辦法速成.
母兼父職, 現在的工作既符合自己專長, 也不致過度忙碌. 收入供母女二人基本生活已是充足有餘.
於是我推翻自己最初的商研所計畫, 聆聽那微小的聲音.
重新調整所有的社交活動, 減少不必要的電話及活動, 把資源用在最要緊的事情上, 教育自己的女兒.
然後很奇妙的是: 心裡覺得很平安也很快樂.
雖然並不是事事完美, 盡如我所想所求.
可是我知道神的計畫高於人的計畫, 只要讓我們的心思意念與主的旨意相調和, 長期來說就會是對的.
2007年10月1日 星期一
"Essential Qualities for Marriage"
By Tamara Eaton
"Essential Qualities for Marriage"
1. A personal total commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Total commitment to Christ means not holding any area of your life back for your own, but giving it all up to Jesus. Are you spending time in His Word, applying it to your life, and do you seek His face daily?
2. An appreciation and acceptance of one's own unique gifts and calling from the Lord.
Self-acceptance doesn't mean selfishness, but rather understanding that God has created you for a special purpose and loves you with an everlasting love.
* He has a unique plan and ministry for you that only you can fulfill. (Psalm 139; Ephesians 1:18, 2:10)
* Accept the gifts He's given you and avoid comparing yourself with others.
* Offer yourself continually up to God and He will continue His work in you and conform you to the image of His Son (Romans 8:28)!
* Be more concerned about being adorned with the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22f) rather than your physical appearance.
* Let God's perspective become your perspective!
3. A humble and forgiving spirit
Pride and unforgiveness can cause bitterness, distrust, and resentment to build and destroy relationships and marriages. It can also cause deep depression. The cure? Forgiving others as Jesus forgave us, even while we were yet in our sins. (Mark. 11:24-26, Matt. 6:14-15, Luke 6:37, Matt. 6:12, Luke 23:34, Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:32). And when the enemy tries to bring those unforgiving thoughts up again, we must remind him that we've already forgiven and are free thanks to our Lord Jesus!
" Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." --Eph.4:31-32
"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled" --Heb.12:14-15
"Only by pride cometh contention..." --Prov. 13:10
"He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife..." --Prov.28:25
"... be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." --1 Pet.5:5
4. Purity
Purity is a beautiful gift to offer your future spouse. Confess any sins of impurity and allow the Lord to help you "walk in the spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16) As He lives in you, He will bring to your mind any thoughts, words or actions that are impure. By filling your mind with God's Word (Romans 12:2; Psalm 119:11), you can defeat the enemy who would seek to distract you and rob you of purity before the Lord and before your future mate.
5. Awareness of Purpose
Without specific goals and purpose in life, one is reduced to floundering along life's roads with no sense of direction. Christians are given not only a road map --God's Word --but also the means by which we can discern God's Will for our lives --His Holy Spirit!
The Lord has a unique purpose and ministry for each one to fulfill and it's important to seek Him for wisdom and direction. Having goals and a sense of purpose is not only energizing but gives meaning to life, and allows one to set priorities in planning and working for the future.
The first and foremost goal for all Christians is to glorify God. One's job or career should not be an end in itself but only the means by which one fulfills part of God's plans and purposes for his life. Neither should the pursuit of leisure or pleasure be the ultimate goal --working in order to make enough to spend on fun weekends and buy more "toys" is not a worthy goal! Even working with the sole goal of financial security falls way short of God's plan --He wants each one to be focused on HIM alone for the ultimate security!
Examine your priorities in light of God's Word and what is of eternal value --don't squander time, energy and resources on things of no enduring value. How much wasted time and stress could be avoided each day by taking time to seek the Lord first and asking Him for wisdom and help in establishing priorities and godly goals!
Jesus saw many needs when He was performing His earthly ministry but even He didn't met them all--instead He did the work that His Father had given Him. That's all anyone can do--seek the Lord for His will and do it, not becoming side-tracked, even by seemingly worthwhile things. These side issues can drain us or keep us so occupied that we aren't able to accomplish what God has called us to do in the first place.
Remember: "There is always enough time to do the will of God."
6. Financial responsibility
Supporting a household is a huge responsibility, especially when you're young and just starting out. There are many expenses that come up unexpectedly and it's wise to have a cushion of savings to fall back upon if necessary (and it almost goes without saying --it will be necessary!). If a young couple starts out with both working outside the home, it's easy to grow accustomed to having two incomes, which causes huge challenges when the children begin to come along. It's best to learn to get along on one income to avoid these problems!
Don't let a "worldly" philosophy be your guide --God has much to say in His Word about finances and managing your money. Don't go into debt. Pray before purchasing. Ask the Lord to make you a good manager of the money He's provided. Look to the Lord to provide all your needs and make sure you're meeting all the conditions of being responsible with what He has already provided. If this has been a weak area, take time to read good books on managing your money and learn to plan and budget. It is much easier to learn this as a single person before you are responsible for providing for another person, too!
Above all else --dedicate all your money, possessions, time and future to God and allow Him to give you wisdom and direction! He doesn't want you to be bogged down with worry about material things, He promises to provide all your needs if you seek Him first. (Matthew 6:33)
7. Respect for authority and divine order
A couple prepared for marriage must have a proper respect for authority and divine order in the home. The Lord is the head, the husband leads the home under submission to God, loving his wife sacrificially just as Christ loved the Church, and the wife is in loving submission to the husband. God has given Christian husbands and wives to each other to function as a team, in mutual respect and honor, totally sold out and committed to Him, each contributing special gifts and wisdom as they're yielding themselves to Him, and thereby working efficiently and effectively to further not only His will in their lives, but in the kingdom of God!
Examine yourself and your future spouse --how many of these qualities are now present? How many are lacking and need further development? Before marriage the problem areas need to be strengthened and any weaknesses overcome. The Lord doesn't leave you on your own to struggle with this, He promises to equip and strengthen you as you trust and abide in Him. (John 15)
出處: http://chfweb.net/articles/week52.htm
"Essential Qualities for Marriage"
1. A personal total commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Total commitment to Christ means not holding any area of your life back for your own, but giving it all up to Jesus. Are you spending time in His Word, applying it to your life, and do you seek His face daily?
2. An appreciation and acceptance of one's own unique gifts and calling from the Lord.
Self-acceptance doesn't mean selfishness, but rather understanding that God has created you for a special purpose and loves you with an everlasting love.
* He has a unique plan and ministry for you that only you can fulfill. (Psalm 139; Ephesians 1:18, 2:10)
* Accept the gifts He's given you and avoid comparing yourself with others.
* Offer yourself continually up to God and He will continue His work in you and conform you to the image of His Son (Romans 8:28)!
* Be more concerned about being adorned with the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22f) rather than your physical appearance.
* Let God's perspective become your perspective!
3. A humble and forgiving spirit
Pride and unforgiveness can cause bitterness, distrust, and resentment to build and destroy relationships and marriages. It can also cause deep depression. The cure? Forgiving others as Jesus forgave us, even while we were yet in our sins. (Mark. 11:24-26, Matt. 6:14-15, Luke 6:37, Matt. 6:12, Luke 23:34, Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:32). And when the enemy tries to bring those unforgiving thoughts up again, we must remind him that we've already forgiven and are free thanks to our Lord Jesus!
" Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." --Eph.4:31-32
"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled" --Heb.12:14-15
"Only by pride cometh contention..." --Prov. 13:10
"He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife..." --Prov.28:25
"... be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." --1 Pet.5:5
4. Purity
Purity is a beautiful gift to offer your future spouse. Confess any sins of impurity and allow the Lord to help you "walk in the spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." (Galatians 5:16) As He lives in you, He will bring to your mind any thoughts, words or actions that are impure. By filling your mind with God's Word (Romans 12:2; Psalm 119:11), you can defeat the enemy who would seek to distract you and rob you of purity before the Lord and before your future mate.
5. Awareness of Purpose
Without specific goals and purpose in life, one is reduced to floundering along life's roads with no sense of direction. Christians are given not only a road map --God's Word --but also the means by which we can discern God's Will for our lives --His Holy Spirit!
The Lord has a unique purpose and ministry for each one to fulfill and it's important to seek Him for wisdom and direction. Having goals and a sense of purpose is not only energizing but gives meaning to life, and allows one to set priorities in planning and working for the future.
The first and foremost goal for all Christians is to glorify God. One's job or career should not be an end in itself but only the means by which one fulfills part of God's plans and purposes for his life. Neither should the pursuit of leisure or pleasure be the ultimate goal --working in order to make enough to spend on fun weekends and buy more "toys" is not a worthy goal! Even working with the sole goal of financial security falls way short of God's plan --He wants each one to be focused on HIM alone for the ultimate security!
Examine your priorities in light of God's Word and what is of eternal value --don't squander time, energy and resources on things of no enduring value. How much wasted time and stress could be avoided each day by taking time to seek the Lord first and asking Him for wisdom and help in establishing priorities and godly goals!
Jesus saw many needs when He was performing His earthly ministry but even He didn't met them all--instead He did the work that His Father had given Him. That's all anyone can do--seek the Lord for His will and do it, not becoming side-tracked, even by seemingly worthwhile things. These side issues can drain us or keep us so occupied that we aren't able to accomplish what God has called us to do in the first place.
Remember: "There is always enough time to do the will of God."
6. Financial responsibility
Supporting a household is a huge responsibility, especially when you're young and just starting out. There are many expenses that come up unexpectedly and it's wise to have a cushion of savings to fall back upon if necessary (and it almost goes without saying --it will be necessary!). If a young couple starts out with both working outside the home, it's easy to grow accustomed to having two incomes, which causes huge challenges when the children begin to come along. It's best to learn to get along on one income to avoid these problems!
Don't let a "worldly" philosophy be your guide --God has much to say in His Word about finances and managing your money. Don't go into debt. Pray before purchasing. Ask the Lord to make you a good manager of the money He's provided. Look to the Lord to provide all your needs and make sure you're meeting all the conditions of being responsible with what He has already provided. If this has been a weak area, take time to read good books on managing your money and learn to plan and budget. It is much easier to learn this as a single person before you are responsible for providing for another person, too!
Above all else --dedicate all your money, possessions, time and future to God and allow Him to give you wisdom and direction! He doesn't want you to be bogged down with worry about material things, He promises to provide all your needs if you seek Him first. (Matthew 6:33)
7. Respect for authority and divine order
A couple prepared for marriage must have a proper respect for authority and divine order in the home. The Lord is the head, the husband leads the home under submission to God, loving his wife sacrificially just as Christ loved the Church, and the wife is in loving submission to the husband. God has given Christian husbands and wives to each other to function as a team, in mutual respect and honor, totally sold out and committed to Him, each contributing special gifts and wisdom as they're yielding themselves to Him, and thereby working efficiently and effectively to further not only His will in their lives, but in the kingdom of God!
Examine yourself and your future spouse --how many of these qualities are now present? How many are lacking and need further development? Before marriage the problem areas need to be strengthened and any weaknesses overcome. The Lord doesn't leave you on your own to struggle with this, He promises to equip and strengthen you as you trust and abide in Him. (John 15)
出處: http://chfweb.net/articles/week52.htm
Preparation for Marriage
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies..."
By Tamara Eaton
Marriage is for mature adults --mature not only physically, but psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually.
* One who is prepared for marriage has an adult perspective on life, knows how to judge priorities and determine God's will --not just live for fun and pleasure or selfish desires.
* He understands how to set and achieve both long-term and short-term goals and how to lead a disciplined life.
* He is willing to "die to flesh" and place his future spouse's needs (and future children's needs) before his own. No longer can selfishness reign! All decisions and actions affect two people now.
* He is willing to pay the cost to lead his family spiritually and he recognizes that he is going to answer to God as to how he leads his family. He has surrendered himself fully to the Lord and allowed Him full control.
* He is prepared to provide for his future wife's and future family's financial needs.
* He has learned to judge things in light of Eternity --he understands what is really important and what is not.
* He takes the time to study God's Word and pray --for himself and for others, for his future spouse, and for wisdom and understanding of the Lord's will for their lives.
* He realizes his spiritual maturity is revealed by the degree in which he cooperates with the Holy Spirit and chooses to live by His instructions and lines his life up with the Word of God.
* He prays that the Lord leads him to the perfect spouse for himself, one who has also dedicated her life to Jesus Christ and is submitted to His Lordship and desires to walk in accordance to His Word -- otherwise, how can two walk together except they be agreed?
* He is totally committed to one spouse for life, divorce will never be an option or even in his vocabulary. He realizes love is a decision, not just a feeling and that while feelings may increase and decrease in intensity according to current circumstances, true love endures because it is based on more than just a feeling --it is a lifetime commitment.
出處: http://chfweb.net/articles/week52.htm
By Tamara Eaton
Marriage is for mature adults --mature not only physically, but psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually.
* One who is prepared for marriage has an adult perspective on life, knows how to judge priorities and determine God's will --not just live for fun and pleasure or selfish desires.
* He understands how to set and achieve both long-term and short-term goals and how to lead a disciplined life.
* He is willing to "die to flesh" and place his future spouse's needs (and future children's needs) before his own. No longer can selfishness reign! All decisions and actions affect two people now.
* He is willing to pay the cost to lead his family spiritually and he recognizes that he is going to answer to God as to how he leads his family. He has surrendered himself fully to the Lord and allowed Him full control.
* He is prepared to provide for his future wife's and future family's financial needs.
* He has learned to judge things in light of Eternity --he understands what is really important and what is not.
* He takes the time to study God's Word and pray --for himself and for others, for his future spouse, and for wisdom and understanding of the Lord's will for their lives.
* He realizes his spiritual maturity is revealed by the degree in which he cooperates with the Holy Spirit and chooses to live by His instructions and lines his life up with the Word of God.
* He prays that the Lord leads him to the perfect spouse for himself, one who has also dedicated her life to Jesus Christ and is submitted to His Lordship and desires to walk in accordance to His Word -- otherwise, how can two walk together except they be agreed?
* He is totally committed to one spouse for life, divorce will never be an option or even in his vocabulary. He realizes love is a decision, not just a feeling and that while feelings may increase and decrease in intensity according to current circumstances, true love endures because it is based on more than just a feeling --it is a lifetime commitment.
出處: http://chfweb.net/articles/week52.htm
Eternal Marriage
最近想到說把這段時間讀到關於這方面的文章及出處都放到部落格來
you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. … It becomes special because you have made it so.
F. Burton Howard, “Eternal Marriage,” Ensign, May 2003, 92
A number of years ago my wife and I went to a garden wedding reception. Earlier that day we had been to the temple, where two young people we knew had been married for time and all eternity. They were much in love. The circumstances of their meeting had been almost miraculous. Many tears of happiness were shed. We stood in the reception line at the end of a perfect day. Ahead of us was a close friend of the family. As he approached the couple, he stopped and in a beautiful, clear tenor voice sang to them the stirring words from the book of Ruth: “Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die” (Ruth 1:16–17).
We were deeply touched and felt reassured about their prospects for happiness—this in part, I suppose, because my wife and I have had these same words on the wall of our home for many years.
Sadly, the significance of these beautiful words is subsiding. Far too many marriages today end in divorce. Selfishness, sin, and personal convenience often prevail over covenants and commitment.
Eternal marriage is a principle which was established before the foundation of the world and was instituted on this earth before death came into it. Adam and Eve were given to each other by God in the Garden of Eden before the Fall. The scripture says, “In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them” (Gen. 5:1–2; emphasis added).
The prophets have uniformly taught that the consummate and culminating element of God’s great plan for the blessing of His children is eternal marriage. President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], 533–34). President Howard W. Hunter described celestial marriage as “the crowning gospel ordinance” and clarified that “while it might take somewhat longer [for some,] perhaps even beyond this mortal life,” it would not be denied to any worthy individual (Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1997], 132, 140). President Gordon B. Hinckley has called eternal marriage a wonderful thing (see “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 71) and a “gift, precious beyond all others” (“The Marriage That Endures,” Ensign, May 1974, 23).
However, notwithstanding the grandeur and glory of the gift, it is not free. In fact it is conditional, and having been given, it may be withdrawn if we do not keep the conditions of the covenant which accompanies it. Section 131 of the Doctrine and Covenants tells us that “in the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man [that means a woman too] must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]” (D&C 131:1–2).
A covenant is a sacred promise. We promise to do some things, and God binds Himself to do others. To those who keep the covenant of marriage, God promises the fulness of His glory, eternal lives, eternal increase, exaltation in the celestial kingdom, and a fulness of joy. We all know that, but sometimes we don’t give much thought to what we have to do to receive these blessings. The scriptures seem to clearly say that at least three obligations are inherent in this covenant.
First, an eternal marriage is eternal. Eternal implies continuing growth and improvement. It means that man and wife will honestly try to perfect themselves. It means that the marriage relationship is not to be frivolously discarded at the first sign of disagreement or when times get hard. It signifies that love will grow stronger with time and that it extends beyond the grave. It means that each partner will be blessed with the company of the other partner forever and that problems and differences might as well be resolved because they are not going to go away. Eternal signifies repentance, forgiveness, long-suffering, patience, hope, charity, love, and humility. All of these things are involved in anything that is eternal, and surely we must learn and practice them if we intend to claim an eternal marriage.
Second, an eternal marriage is ordained of God. This means that the parties to the marriage covenant agree to invite God into their marriage, to pray together, to keep the commandments, to keep wants and passions within certain limits that the prophets have outlined. It means to be equal companions and to be just as true and pure outside the home as inside the home. That is part of what ordained of God means.
Third, eternal marriage is a kind of partnership with God. He promises a continuation of lives to those who are sealed together in the temple. There is a oneness with the Creator implied in the commandment given to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. There is an obligation to teach children the gospel, for they are His children too. Thus we have family home evening and scripture study, gospel conversations, and service to others. There would seem to be an obligation to support and sustain each other in callings and roles that each is given to perform. How can we claim to be one with God if we cannot sustain one another when the wife is called to serve in the Primary or the husband in the bishopric?
So the covenant of marriage implies at least these things and probably others. I may miss the mark, but I don’t think by far, when I say that those who verbally or physically abuse their wives or husbands or those who degrade or demean or exercise unrighteous dominion in a marriage are not keeping the covenant. Nor are those who neglect the commandments or who fail to sustain their leaders. Even those who merely decline callings, neglect neighbors, or moderately adopt worldly ways are at risk. If we are not keeping our part of the covenant, we have no promise.
Most of all, I think eternal marriage cannot be achieved without a commitment to make it work. Most of what I know about this I have learned from my companion. We have been married for almost 47 years now. From the beginning she knew what kind of marriage she wanted.
We started as poor college students, but her vision for our marriage was exemplified by a set of silverware. As is common today, when we married she registered with a local department store. Instead of listing all the pots and pans and appliances we needed and hoped to receive, she chose another course. She asked for silverware. She chose a pattern and the number of place settings and listed knives, forks, and spoons on the wedding registry and nothing else. No towels, no toasters, no television—just knives, forks, and spoons.
The wedding came and went. Our friends and our parents’ friends gave gifts. We departed for a brief honeymoon and decided to open the presents when we returned. When we did so, we were shocked. There was not a single knife or fork in the lot. We joked about it and went on with our lives.
Two children came along while we were in law school. We had no money to spare. But when my wife worked as a part-time election judge or when someone gave her a few dollars for her birthday, she would quietly set it aside, and when she had enough she would go to town to buy a fork or a spoon. It took us several years to accumulate enough pieces to use them. When we finally had service for four, we began to invite some of our friends for dinner.
Before they came, we would have a little discussion in the kitchen. Which utensils would we use, the battered and mismatched stainless or the special silverware? In those early days I would often vote for the stainless. It was easier. You could just throw it in the dishwasher after the meal, and it took care of itself. The silver, on the other hand, was a lot of work. My wife had it hidden away under the bed where it could not be found easily by a burglar. She had insisted that I buy a tarnish-free cloth to wrap it in. Each piece was in a separate pocket, and it was no easy task to assemble all the pieces. When the silver was used, it had to be hand washed and dried so that it would not spot, and put back in the pockets so it would not tarnish, and wrapped up and carefully hidden again so it would not get stolen. If any tarnish was discovered, I was sent to buy silver polish, and together we carefully rubbed the stains away.
Over the years we added to the set, and I watched with amazement how she cared for the silver. My wife was never one to get angry easily. However, I remember the day when one of our children somehow got hold of one of the silver forks and wanted to use it to dig up the backyard. That attempt was met with a fiery glare and a warning not to even think about it. Ever!
I noticed that the silverware never went to the many ward dinners she cooked, or never accompanied the many meals she made and sent to others who were sick or needy. It never went on picnics and never went camping. In fact it never went anywhere; and, as time went by, it didn’t even come to the table very often. Some of our friends were weighed in the balance, found wanting, and didn’t even know it. They got the stainless when they came to dinner.
The time came when we were called to go on a mission. I arrived home one day and was told that I had to rent a safe-deposit box for the silver. She didn’t want to take it with us. She didn’t want to leave it behind. And she didn’t want to lose it.
For years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way. I pray that we may see it for the priceless gift that it is, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Gospel topics: covenants, love, marriage, temples
you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. … It becomes special because you have made it so.
F. Burton Howard, “Eternal Marriage,” Ensign, May 2003, 92
A number of years ago my wife and I went to a garden wedding reception. Earlier that day we had been to the temple, where two young people we knew had been married for time and all eternity. They were much in love. The circumstances of their meeting had been almost miraculous. Many tears of happiness were shed. We stood in the reception line at the end of a perfect day. Ahead of us was a close friend of the family. As he approached the couple, he stopped and in a beautiful, clear tenor voice sang to them the stirring words from the book of Ruth: “Whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die” (Ruth 1:16–17).
We were deeply touched and felt reassured about their prospects for happiness—this in part, I suppose, because my wife and I have had these same words on the wall of our home for many years.
Sadly, the significance of these beautiful words is subsiding. Far too many marriages today end in divorce. Selfishness, sin, and personal convenience often prevail over covenants and commitment.
Eternal marriage is a principle which was established before the foundation of the world and was instituted on this earth before death came into it. Adam and Eve were given to each other by God in the Garden of Eden before the Fall. The scripture says, “In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them” (Gen. 5:1–2; emphasis added).
The prophets have uniformly taught that the consummate and culminating element of God’s great plan for the blessing of His children is eternal marriage. President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [1988], 533–34). President Howard W. Hunter described celestial marriage as “the crowning gospel ordinance” and clarified that “while it might take somewhat longer [for some,] perhaps even beyond this mortal life,” it would not be denied to any worthy individual (Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1997], 132, 140). President Gordon B. Hinckley has called eternal marriage a wonderful thing (see “What God Hath Joined Together,” Ensign, May 1991, 71) and a “gift, precious beyond all others” (“The Marriage That Endures,” Ensign, May 1974, 23).
However, notwithstanding the grandeur and glory of the gift, it is not free. In fact it is conditional, and having been given, it may be withdrawn if we do not keep the conditions of the covenant which accompanies it. Section 131 of the Doctrine and Covenants tells us that “in the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man [that means a woman too] must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]” (D&C 131:1–2).
A covenant is a sacred promise. We promise to do some things, and God binds Himself to do others. To those who keep the covenant of marriage, God promises the fulness of His glory, eternal lives, eternal increase, exaltation in the celestial kingdom, and a fulness of joy. We all know that, but sometimes we don’t give much thought to what we have to do to receive these blessings. The scriptures seem to clearly say that at least three obligations are inherent in this covenant.
First, an eternal marriage is eternal. Eternal implies continuing growth and improvement. It means that man and wife will honestly try to perfect themselves. It means that the marriage relationship is not to be frivolously discarded at the first sign of disagreement or when times get hard. It signifies that love will grow stronger with time and that it extends beyond the grave. It means that each partner will be blessed with the company of the other partner forever and that problems and differences might as well be resolved because they are not going to go away. Eternal signifies repentance, forgiveness, long-suffering, patience, hope, charity, love, and humility. All of these things are involved in anything that is eternal, and surely we must learn and practice them if we intend to claim an eternal marriage.
Second, an eternal marriage is ordained of God. This means that the parties to the marriage covenant agree to invite God into their marriage, to pray together, to keep the commandments, to keep wants and passions within certain limits that the prophets have outlined. It means to be equal companions and to be just as true and pure outside the home as inside the home. That is part of what ordained of God means.
Third, eternal marriage is a kind of partnership with God. He promises a continuation of lives to those who are sealed together in the temple. There is a oneness with the Creator implied in the commandment given to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. There is an obligation to teach children the gospel, for they are His children too. Thus we have family home evening and scripture study, gospel conversations, and service to others. There would seem to be an obligation to support and sustain each other in callings and roles that each is given to perform. How can we claim to be one with God if we cannot sustain one another when the wife is called to serve in the Primary or the husband in the bishopric?
So the covenant of marriage implies at least these things and probably others. I may miss the mark, but I don’t think by far, when I say that those who verbally or physically abuse their wives or husbands or those who degrade or demean or exercise unrighteous dominion in a marriage are not keeping the covenant. Nor are those who neglect the commandments or who fail to sustain their leaders. Even those who merely decline callings, neglect neighbors, or moderately adopt worldly ways are at risk. If we are not keeping our part of the covenant, we have no promise.
Most of all, I think eternal marriage cannot be achieved without a commitment to make it work. Most of what I know about this I have learned from my companion. We have been married for almost 47 years now. From the beginning she knew what kind of marriage she wanted.
We started as poor college students, but her vision for our marriage was exemplified by a set of silverware. As is common today, when we married she registered with a local department store. Instead of listing all the pots and pans and appliances we needed and hoped to receive, she chose another course. She asked for silverware. She chose a pattern and the number of place settings and listed knives, forks, and spoons on the wedding registry and nothing else. No towels, no toasters, no television—just knives, forks, and spoons.
The wedding came and went. Our friends and our parents’ friends gave gifts. We departed for a brief honeymoon and decided to open the presents when we returned. When we did so, we were shocked. There was not a single knife or fork in the lot. We joked about it and went on with our lives.
Two children came along while we were in law school. We had no money to spare. But when my wife worked as a part-time election judge or when someone gave her a few dollars for her birthday, she would quietly set it aside, and when she had enough she would go to town to buy a fork or a spoon. It took us several years to accumulate enough pieces to use them. When we finally had service for four, we began to invite some of our friends for dinner.
Before they came, we would have a little discussion in the kitchen. Which utensils would we use, the battered and mismatched stainless or the special silverware? In those early days I would often vote for the stainless. It was easier. You could just throw it in the dishwasher after the meal, and it took care of itself. The silver, on the other hand, was a lot of work. My wife had it hidden away under the bed where it could not be found easily by a burglar. She had insisted that I buy a tarnish-free cloth to wrap it in. Each piece was in a separate pocket, and it was no easy task to assemble all the pieces. When the silver was used, it had to be hand washed and dried so that it would not spot, and put back in the pockets so it would not tarnish, and wrapped up and carefully hidden again so it would not get stolen. If any tarnish was discovered, I was sent to buy silver polish, and together we carefully rubbed the stains away.
Over the years we added to the set, and I watched with amazement how she cared for the silver. My wife was never one to get angry easily. However, I remember the day when one of our children somehow got hold of one of the silver forks and wanted to use it to dig up the backyard. That attempt was met with a fiery glare and a warning not to even think about it. Ever!
I noticed that the silverware never went to the many ward dinners she cooked, or never accompanied the many meals she made and sent to others who were sick or needy. It never went on picnics and never went camping. In fact it never went anywhere; and, as time went by, it didn’t even come to the table very often. Some of our friends were weighed in the balance, found wanting, and didn’t even know it. They got the stainless when they came to dinner.
The time came when we were called to go on a mission. I arrived home one day and was told that I had to rent a safe-deposit box for the silver. She didn’t want to take it with us. She didn’t want to leave it behind. And she didn’t want to lose it.
For years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way. I pray that we may see it for the priceless gift that it is, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Gospel topics: covenants, love, marriage, temples
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